Romance or Retail? The Shopping Mindset of Modern Dating

When we shop online, it’s quick. Easy. You can order multiple sizes, try them on, and exchange things without ever leaving your house. It becomes so easy to mindlessly click and a few days, or hours, later your purchase arrives at your door. This is quite like the mindless swiping involved with most dating apps today, leading to dating app fatigue.

The Search & Infinite Choice Illusion

Both online shopping and online dating start with a search. You put in what you’re looking for and filter results to match your criteria: age, location, interests, etc. We are presented with almost limitless options, with the next product (or person) just a scroll away. The infinite options can feel daunting, making it even harder to choose. 

The current “on-demand” culture has conditioned us to expect instant gratification. In online shopping this looks like next-day delivery, endless choice, and tailored recommendations. Similarly, dating app users can browse profiles and filter preferences and quickly swipe through the options, making snap judgments. The pursuit of connection becomes less about depth and more about optimization.

First Impressions

Like online shopping, first impressions are everything. A bad website or unflattering photo can determine whether or not you buy a product. The same goes when choosing whether or not to match with someone. Within seconds of that first glance at a profile, we decide which way we swipe. BARE emphasizes slowing down this process, combating the mindless swiping problem.

Reliability 

The downside — things aren’t always as they appear online. The same goes with online dating. Sometimes, people aren’t like their profiles. That’s why one of our main values at BARE is authenticity. We are aiming to improve dating safety so you feel comfortable showing off your authentic self, and knowing that what you see is what you get. 

Return Policy

In online shopping, if something doesn’t meet expectations, you return it. In online dating, the equivalent is ghosting, unmatching, or simply fading away.

Because connections are formed in a low-stakes, digital environment, it’s easier to walk away without explanation. The emotional cost feels lower – until you’re on the receiving end. This “return policy” mindset can make relationships feel disposable, as if people are interchangeable rather than unique.

Finding the right person isn’t an impulse buy. It’s an investment.